Perfecting Imperfection One Mistake at a Time
“I feel like I can’t do anything right. That no matter what I do, it is just never enough. I am never enough” said every perfectionist ever.
High standards and expectations can leave us constantly chasing a ball we will never actually catch. We work every day to reach some unattainable goal set far too high that we ultimately won’t reach. Then, when we don’t reach it, we will feel even worse for ever attempting. These goals can be things like never making mistakes as parents, always being available for everyone, never messing up a project at work, always looking like you’ve got your shit together, or always having an answer. These goals usually have perfection as the standard and expectation to meet and exceed. Being the perfect parent, friend, partner, child, sibling, professional, and family member is not attainable no matter how much we convince ourselves otherwise because perfection isn’t attainable. Not only that, but it can distort and cover some really beautiful parts about us and moments we experience. The mom who is constantly trying to bend over backwards for her kids misses the opportunities to model boundaries and teach her children how to make mistakes with grace. The spouse who is always trying to please their partner prevents their partner from truly understanding and connecting authenticity. The person intently focused on achieving the end goal perfectly misses the opportunity to learn from others and experience the joys of the journey. Those we admire most aren’t perfect by any means. They are just people who dared to let their imperfections show and somehow, we loved them more because of it.
Redefine your standards and expectations.
For most of us, our standards were set for us long before we had a say. They started as soon as we came out of the womb. There were milestones to meet and goals to achieve. A clear path to acceptance, praise and approval. Other messa